William Ellsworth "Dummy" Hoy - "Dummy" Hoy was the first deaf major league baseball player in 1886. Back then, the word "dumb" was used to describe someone who could not speak. Not much for being PC, were they? Speaking of PC, you've got to love that baseball card (below left). It's sponsored by Old Judge Cigarettes. And what in the heck is old "Dummy" doing in that card, what kind of stance is that?
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| What's that? What did you say about my glove? |
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| I shall now slay some flying things. And rock a killer mustache. |
Robert Vavasour "Death to Flying Things" Ferguson (above right) - Overlooking the guys real middle name for a minute, this may be the coolest nickname of all time. I would guess, not knowing anything about this guy, that he was an outstanding outfielder. I would be wrong, since this guy played second and third base during his career. Looks like those early baseball players weren't very much for power hitting.
Mordecai Centennial "Three Finger" Brown - MLB - 1903-1916.
Due to a farm-machinery accident in his youth, Brown lost parts of two fingers on his right hand. Sometimes, nicknames are just descriptive and nothing else. Turning this handicap to his advantage, he became one of the elite pitchers his era, known for his wicked curveball. Look at the shot of his hand below. I'm calling BS on this one, but I'm guessing "Three Finger" is a better nickname than "Crooked Ass Hand" any day. Also, I should have save Mordecai Centennial Brown for the regular BNOW column.
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| His curve ball was great, but not as great as his split-nubbed fastball. |
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| Face like a frying pan. |
"Ugly" Johnny Dickshot - Baseball - 1936-45 - First of all, Johnny Dickshot is awesome all by itself. But, obviously, given a proclivity for hanging descriptive nicknames on people, Johnny was not a handsome man. In fact, "Ugly" Dickshot was the self-proclaimed ugliest man in baseball. Looking at the picture to the left below, I agree he was not very attractive, but the ugliest man in baseball? I just will have to take him at his word. I take it back, Dickshot's so ugly, when he was born, the doctor slapped everybody.
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| See, here's the proof. |
Willie "Puddin' Head" Jones- "Puddin' Head" was a third baseman who played for the Phillies from 1947-1959. My crack research (which means I looked on Wikipedia) did not turn up any reason for the nickname. I'm guessing Puddin' Head was as dumb as a can of corn. Possibly because he took one too many beanballs. Maybe it was just because he liked pudding. The last one couldn't be right though, I'm pretty sure pudding wasn't around until Bill Cosby invented it in the 80s.
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