BoDerickus' BNOD

In honor of the Southern Heritage Classic, which, for those of you who do not know, is a very big event for Memphis that pits two of the best bands in the Mid-South in a heated battle . . . wait, I've just been handed a note, and . . . really? . . . oh ok, it seems that there is also a football game played. The Jackson State Tigers and the Tennessee State Tigers meet in the Liberty Bowl on Saturday. So, in honor of the game, BNOD will make its first ever prediction on a game. I am pitting the teams against each other for bad name supremacy and the winner, I predict, will also win the game.

Jackson State: The Tigers fell to Mississippi State last week, 45-7, but as you can see below, they are loaded with BNOD all-stars. It was an embarrassment of riches, so much that I had to just cut off at the best 7 names.

Talon Boudreaux – Talon, the son of Bruce Willis and Demi Moore, is a talented player out of Idaho.

Armon Carter - a terror out of Jackson, MS, where he and his twin brother, Hamma, ruled the city.

Qua Cox – No wua, another guy name Qua.

Ryant Denton - Not Ryan, not Bryant, but a strange combination. For some reason, this is just funny in its simplicity. Bryant is a Gaelic name meaning noble, strong and virtuous. Ryant, on the other hand, means almost, but not quite, noble, strong and virtuous.

Bloi-Dei Dorzon – Is one of 9 children and joins brother Maliekee and sisters Seito, Mardawhera, and Baby Girl (I guess by the ninth kid, they just got lazy). This sounds like an action an attorney would do. As in: After I finished bloi dei with that witness, the jury was totally on our side.

Aristacus Forster - The JSU program actually says that his name means strong and wise. The actual meaning however has been lost to scholars, but they think it means something like: “this made-up name sounds strong and regal.”

Jewrad Smith – The father was ¼ Jewish and wanted to honor the “coolness” of his ancestry.

Tennessee State: The Tigers of TSU started off with a hard 24-7 loss to the mighty Alabama A&M. Will they be able to bounce back in BNOD strength to win this week?

Trabis Ward – The mother wanted Travis, but unfortunately had a bit of a speech impediment.

Jeremy Broadway - WR - This is a perfect name for a WR, I mean Jeremy is strong.

Ty'Ron Johnson – Honey, I like the name Tyrone, but it just doesn’t have the kick I’d like, how about we drop the e and add an apostrophe? Perfect.

Renaloski St. Fleur - A big LB out of Hollywood, FL. Coach says that the "Big Renaloski" is known to absolutely bowl over his opponents.

Donte'e Nicholls – The ‘e gives Donte that extra “oomph” he’s going to need to really succeed in life.

Enoch Hill – Forget Jewrad, Enoch’s parents went old school with his name, and by that I mean Old Testament.

Dumaka Atkins & Demardre Dean – Dumaka, Demardre, Hassenfeffer Incorporated . . . (sorry, I’m tired)

It was a hard fought battle, both teams bringing their A games (as well as their ‘e games). Head to head though, I have to go with JSU on this one. So, my prediction is JSU 30 – TSU 14. Remember, all BNOD predictions are for entertainment purposes only.

NOTE: TSU wins 14-7, guess the system wasn't foolproof.

BoDerikus' BNOD

This is from a friend of mine: I was paying a health care bill today, and the name of the business manager for the health care provider is Mike Hiscock.

So my question is, if you followed the instructions implied by his name, what would it say? How loud would you have to turn up the volume? Also, where would you pin the microphone?


Lastly, this is a favorite of mine and one you have likely heard before, but I just like it:

T-Bob Hebert, OL from LSU, son of the “Cajun Cannon” himself (and Saints great), Bobby Hebert. This sounds too much like something you would find on Urban Dictionary, for my taste.

BoDerickus' BNOD

First off, as you can see above, I am officially naming this post “BoDerickus Cox Presents: the Bad Name of the Day(ish),” which will be shortened to BoDerickus’ BNOD. Even though this sort of breaks my rule number 2 below, I did personally verify that BoDerickus Cox is a real person living in my hometown.

Secondly, my self-imposed rules for bad name of the day:

1. The name must be funny, hopefully leading to me showing off my astonishing wit with some comments.
2. The name must be verifiable in a way other than just pure conjecture (i.e., my cousin had this student she swears was named Lemonjello).
3. No foreign names unless they are extraordinarily funny (a la Long Duc Dong).
4. Strive to be color blind and sex neutral. There is a joke wrapped up in this rule, I’m just not going there.

That’s it. With all that out of the way and a promise that this will likely be the longest post on BoDerickus’ BNOD, on to today’s name:

I’m sticking with the team theme from Friday and with the SEC:

From last year’s Mississippi State University football team:

Jazzmen Guy, DE - Did Jazzmen’s parents really like jazz or were they a big fan of “A Different World?”

Jasper O’Quinn, CB - Having a young African-American with two of the whitest names available, funny or not? You decide.

I was thinking about this article from a couple of months ago:
Cravath, Swaine & Moore LLP, the fifth-most profitable U.S. law firm, is offering $80,000 to incoming lawyers to defer their starting dates for a year. So, if you got $80k for nothing, would you:

a. relax, sit on your ass all day...do nothing;
b. invest most of it in low risk mutual funds and move back in with the parents;
c. vacation, travel and no worries; or
d. do two chicks at the same time.

Discuss!

Bad Name of the Day(ish)

This week (mostly because of extreme boredom with what I am working on), I decided to start this blog and am starting it off with a bad name of the day. Over the last 2 years, I have spent a lot of time on sports related websites, and have come across a lot of really bad / funny names. I try to be color-blind and have found some really funny names of all nationalities over the years. I am 100% certain that, despite the name of the email, that this will not be a daily event, but you can only hope. If you have no interest in this, or think I am wasting your time, to this I say: “opinions vary" (Dalton - circa 1989).

So, without further adieu:

From the Oregon State Beavers football team: Jacquizz Rodgers - Running Back

A guy named Jacquizz playing for the Beavers. You can’t make this stuff up.

From the LSU Tigers: Barkevious Mingo - Outside Linebacker - This guy was clearly born to be a linebacker - Aaarrrff! Aaaaaarrrfff!