WTF?

Yesterday, I was in a gas station in East Tennessee when a woman got two Mountain Dews, three Red Bulls, a cup of coffee, two packs of cigarettes and $3.00 in gas.  I am crapping you negative. 

Dr. Cleophus' Quickie Movie Review

The Expendables

There is no way to make this picture any more manly.

Sly Stallone and a band of four other over-muscled, gun crazy mercenaries take out a small country. These five guys (!) laid a smack down on the entire army of this country in such spectacular, explosion laden manner that I found myself cheering nervously. As I was watching this movie I could feel my testosterone levels steadily rising.  Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go outside and punch a Russian.

Movie Quote-apalooza

How well do you know your movies?  Can you pick out a movie from just one quote, WITHOUT using Google (or some search engine)? If you know any of the movies, leave your answer(s) in the Comments section (along with your nom de plume). Let's see which YMGTC reader is a movie genius.  Remember, no cheating.

I'll try to start out easy in this inaugural edition of Guess That Movie:

1.  Snakes. Why did it have to be snakes?

2.  I'd buy that for a dollar!

3.  You're bleeding, man. You're hit.
      I ain't got time to bleed

4.  Ray, when someone asks you if you're a God, you say, "Yes!"

5.  I'll be taking these Huggies, and whatever cash ya got.

6.  Listen, strange women lying in ponds and handing out swords is no basis for a system of government.

7.  We are men of action, lies do not become us.

Now to separate the pretenders:
8.  "I can see Jupiter, Saturn, Pluto" . . . "All I can see is Uranus."

9.  "I'll be back!" . . . "Only in a rerun."

10.  My friend here is trying to convince me that any independent contractors who were working on the uncompleted Death Star, were innocent victims when they were destroyed by the Rebels.

Happy guessing.

Dr. Cleophus' Quickie Movie Review

Salt - Starring Angelina Jolie and her lips.  Jolie kicks butt, stares icily at everyone and may, or may not, be a Russian spy (hey, it's in vogue again).  It's a raucous good time with a pretty good story, something that's not a given in any action movie.  All in all, good escapist fair. There's something about Russian villains that gives me the that warm and fuzzy 80s feeling.  

She must be Russian, look at her hat!

BoDerickus' BNOW

Well, it's been a while since the last update. Just to prove I'm still out there on the case, tirelessly searching for the next awesome name, here is a new batch:
  
Alpha Jones - Sheriff's Dept. - First born of the Jones family, very close to her youngest brother, Omega.

Porcelan Cheeks - Model - Because what model doesn't want Porcelan Cheeks?

Cyronose D. Spicer, Sr. - Candidate for Lauderdale County Mayor - Cyronose's mother was an admirer of the French dramatist and duelist, Cyrano de Bergerac, but I think she may have slightly mixed up the name and the author's most pronounced feature.

FYI for you science geeks out there: The Cyranose 32o, a $10,000 handheld electronic odor detector, can digitally analyze and identify a wide range of smells, in about 10 seconds.

And finally, from the Court system:

State of Tennessee v. Telly Savalas Johnson - His parents must have been big fans of Kojak, lovers of the lollipop, so to speak.

One thing this got me thinking about: Telly Savalas has a great part in Cannonball Run II (along with numerous other stars and famous names, including Frank Sinatra). The 70s and early 80s were great when it came to having huge casts or numerous cameos of famous people, especially in comedies. I think that's a lost art, something we don't see much anymore. Sure you have cameos pop up from time to time, like Mike Tyson in The Hangover, but no true "star-studded" affairs.  Maybe the new movie "The Expendables" will bring back some of that (seriously, check out the cast-it's like a testosterone filled homage to the 80s action blockbusters). Of course, it was written by and stars Sly Stallone, so that's probably the reason.

Paging Dr. Howard, Dr. Fine, Dr. Howard

Last week, I was waiting to pick up my daughter from an after-school function. A doctor in white lab coat gets out of his Mercedes in the heavy rain. I mean it was pouring.  This guy gets out of his car and puts a Target bag over his head like a hat. Then he calmly proceeds to take off the lab coat and toss it back into the car. He locks the car manually, walks to the trunk, opens it and looks around the trunk. He then walks back to the driver's door and looks in. He opens the back door and looks in and pulls out a tiny umbrella.  Now that he has this umbrella (literally) covering his head; he takes the bag off his head.

Now, finally, he walks the approximately 15 feet to the covered overhang which runs all the way to the door. This guy just spent about 3-4 minutes in the pouring rain to find an umbrella to walk 15 feet which may have taken 10 seconds. His clothes are soaked and he is drenched from head to toe (except for his hair, thank goodness for that Target bag). 

What do you call the guy who finished dead last in his medical school class?
Doctor

Somebody's Making the Tracy Morgan Face

I was in Blockbuster today and noticed 2 movies with Tracy Morgan. Seems a little similar, eh?