Madness, Indeed!

Some of you have read this already in an email related to the March Madness office pool. Skip to another one you haven't seen.

First of all, I feel supremely confident in my picks this year. Confident that they will be mostly wrong, but confident nonetheless. I am staying away from the snide comments on players names this year (none could be better than Alabama State’s Chief Kickingstallionsims and Ivory White from the 2009 tourney anyway).  But I will comment on some horrible team mascot/nicknames in the early rounds of this year’s tournament. 

East:

1 OH State v. Texas-San Antonio Roadrunners – Beep, Beep!

3 Syracuse Orange v. Indiana State Sycamores – Both of these nicknames are bad. With Syracuse, am I supposed to be intimidated by a color or a fruit?  Also, with Indiana State, why would anyone pick a tree for a mascot? Also, I’m confused, is this supposed to be the ultra-intimidating fig type sycamore of the Bible, the British version or the sturdy American version?

2 North Carolina v. Long Island University-Brooklyn Blackbirds – So many things to think about: #1 This might be the longest university name in existence. #2 Blackbirds are annoying and dirty, but threatening? Nope. #3 After more thought, and the fact that I think of blackbirds as “rats with wings” I may change my mind on their threatening nature. #4 Actual cheer for ILU-B: Swoop in there and peck their face off, Blackbirds, Blackbirds, Blackbirds! (only effective if making the flying bird motion a’la Morris Day).

Hey there, sailor!

Southwest:

1 Kansas v. Boston U. Terriers – There is no dog more masculine and reeking of intimidation than the Terrier. 

3 Purdue v. St. Peter's Peacocks – Sounds like this should be a gay catholic strip club rather than a school. For comedy’s sake, it would be much more fun if St. Peter’s Peacocks were playing Morehead State.

2 Notre Dame v. Akron Zips What the heck is a Zip?  Also, although called the Zips, it has a kangaroo for a mascot. Because the kangaroo is indigenous to Ohio. 

Southeast:

I'm not sure this could be goofier.

8 Butler v. 9 Old Dominion Monarchs - I’m not sure if you’ve seen Queen Elizabeth lately, but if you have, you know just how intimidating a monarch can be.  Also, the mascot is a lion wearing a crown, so it’s double intimidation. 

11 Gonzaga v. 6 St. John's Red Storm – I was not aware of St. John’s Communist leanings.  

3 BYU Cougars (I thought they were the fightin' Mormons) v. Wofford Terriers - Really? There are two teams with a terrier as mascots? Really? Wait, both are Terriers, plural?  Oh, never mind, that changes the game exponentially.   

2 Florida v. UC Santa Barbara Gauchos - It is well known that Gaucho was the best and meanest of the Marx brothers, but I hear he couldn't play roundball worth a crap. Gummo - now there was a baller.

I can't believe this picture exists, yet here it is.