Signs, Signs, Everywhere the Signs!

While riding around the city, it is fairly obvious that life moves real fast. You just have to stop and look around once in awhile, or you could miss some of the dumb-ass signs all around us. I'm not talking existentially, I'm talking about real signs made with real words. What do I look like, Ghandi?

Most of these signs don't even make sense. Do I feel like Italian or German?  Let's see:

I mean, who doesn't?

Nothing screams "German" quite li

I Luv Lasagna is just so simple in it's delivery. I mean, how can you really argue with that?  However, it seems that you might need something more on the menu than just this sweet noodle/cheese/meat delight. Let's take a closer look at this sign: I Luv Lasagna Etc. (with a little Italian caricature of a cook right above the etc.).   There is so much going on with this sign. Also, with the "etc." we know there's a whole lot more on the menu, even though we have no idea what that "etc." might be.   








As for the German restaurant, could you not come up with something a bit more German? I mean, if I'm hankering for some wiener-schnitzel, I'm not heading over to Mary's house of hot dogs. Maybe Frau Mary's German Restaurant would be more authentic. No, I've got it: Lili von Schtupp's German Spectacle.  I mean, that's a fwiggin' sweet name. You can thank me later, Mary. Maybe with a few free schnitzengrubens.  

What about the pickled pig's feet?

I saw this sign in the Holiday Ham store back around the holidays.
I don't know why I find this sign so hilarious. Is there that big a desire for "ham bones"? 
Well, this is the south. Either you love ham bones or that's your nickname, or something like that.

The scales of justice are weighing in favor of fatty foods.

Has there ever been a worse name for a restaurant? Also, farm raised catfish and smoothies?  That is one hell of a combination. Are there smoothies made out of catfish on the menu? So many questions about this restaurant. Also, what is a whole food smoothie? Can I get a cheeseburger smoothie with a side of fried catfish? If so, this may be the most awesome place ever to exist.

I hear one in the bush is worth two in the tuchis.

I almost feel like I shouldn't even have to comment on this one, but that's just not my style.

The Bald Hippie and I were riding through a not so great section of our fair city a few days ago. After passing by an adult bookstore and making the requisite jokes, we were stunned that this fine establishment was just a couple of hundred yards away. We actually did a spit take (minus the spit) and felt compelled to turn around and get a picture.

What do you say about something like this? Did no one think about the "ramifications" of this name before sending it to the sign maker?