Dr. Cleophus Says: Watch This Movie

This weekend I watched this unbelievable documentary. By that I mean I watched this documentary in an utter state of disbelief.  As many of you know, I grew up in Mississippi. I didn't think it got more "country" (and by that I mean redneck) than small town north Missippi.  I was wrong. I mean, I was really wrong. The White family, Boone County "royalty," are the extended clan of D. Ray and Bertie Mae White, who rose to some level of fame with D. Ray's "mountain dancing" which looked like a mix of clogging and tap dance (with a little "a bobcat got in my pants" thrown in for good measure).

Crazy legs Jesco White and Hank Williams III

This Appalachian family loves to drink, fight, cuss, screw, do drugs, shoot shit (and people), snort stuff, drink, fall down, have babies, mooch off the government, rob, cheat, steal, do time, huff gas, give each other tattoos, drink some more, fight authority (it always wins, however), parent badly, and dance, dance, dance.  D. Ray's son Jesco (literally) inherited his father's dancing shoes after D. Ray was murdered on his way to a performance.  In fact, many of the White children died prematurely. Mamie, Bo, Sue Bob, Kirk and Mousie (all women, by the way) run roughshod over Boone County, West Virginia. These gravelly voiced women have led a rough life, but seem pretty unfazed by life in general.



Make no mistake though, Jesco is the most famous and also the craziest one in the family (but not by much). He gets a full back tattoo of Elvis on the left (surrounded by stars) and Charles Manson on the right (in flames) to portray what he calls his dual nature.

Not a straight line

This family committed (or confessed to) so many crimes on camera it was almost comical. One moment in this film sums up the attitude of the Whites: Kirk gets her baby taken by Protective Services just after he's born (she's crushing and snorting pills in the hospital room less than 24 hours after giving birth). She decides to go to rehab to try to clean up and get her baby back. But not before a multi-day booze and drug fest with Mamie and Sue Bob that would likely knock Charlie Sheen on his ass. I was shocked during much of this movie, but could not stop watching. If I saw a movie "character" act like this, I would say the actor was going way overboard. I guess truth is stranger than fiction. 

I highly recommend this movie, if for nothing less than being proud of yourself as a parent and/or seeing how normal your "crazy" family really is. It was co-produced by Johnny Knoxville of Jackass fame, but don't hold that against it.  Anyway, I'll leave you with some quotes:

"You know what my daddy used to say? He used to say, ‘When you get too old to cut the mustard, lick the jar.’ I don’t know what he meant by that." - Bertie Mae White (the matriarch). 

Sue Bob - The "sexy" one.

"Well, I used to be a stripper back then when I was 17, 18, 19 years old and I made the boo-coups of money.  I'd bring home at least the fifteen to two thousand dollars a night in my boot. I’ve always been the sexiest one in the family. I’ve always had comments from thousands of people." -Sue Bob White

Kirk - the "fighter"

"I met Dennis, I liked him cause he looked good. I loved that 18 wheeler he drove the 18 wheeler. And then, he ends up screwin' my cousin. And then I end up stabbin' his ass." Sue Kirk White
This is only the start of a 3 minute tirade that just got more disturbing. All the while her young son was literally bouncing off the walls after drinking a six pack of Pepsi.