BoDerickus' Class Reunion BNOW

In honor of my 20^th year high school class reunion held this weekend in picturesque SmallTown, MS, I give you the all Panola County / all crime edition of the BNOW (as you can see, I have changed from BNOD(ay) to BNOW(eek) given the frequency of my updates, deal with it).

All names are from the Police Blotter of The Panolian, the local county paper:
ShaKiffany Johnson (DUI) – Just plain Tiffany did not feel right for her mother, then she just had a sudden, intuitive feeling for the name, a shakiffany, if you will.

Taimeara Lashun Lockett (Disturbing the peace) – You do not want Taimeara disturbing your peace, believe me.  She (just an assumption, but I don’t know) was probably using those ancient Chinese fighting skills with which she shares her name.  

Marlandos Burns (Disorderly Conduct) – His mother was a big Billie D. Williams fan, but wanted to give the name it’s own style also. 

Raymond B. Ray (speeding) – Let’s see, Mississippi resident (check), lived in a rural area (check) – I guarantee this guy went by Ray Ray.  On a side note, my brother went to high school with a guy named Bo Jack Jackson.  And he used both first names, seriously, who does that?

And, the “I wish my kid was famous” portion of the police blotter:

Krystal Gail Mister (Disorderly Conduct) – The parents were hoping for either a wonderful singer with good hair, or a stripper – guess which one they got.

Danny Thomas Howard (MJ possession) – I met Danny Thomas once, you sir, are no Danny Thomas.

Howard Vince Gill (Weekends in Jail) – Really, that is what he was listed for in the paper.  What does this mean? Was he arrested because he broke into the jail to sleep off a hard night a’la Otis from the Andy Griffith Show?