BoDerickus' NCAA Tourney Special

It’s that time of year again, time for me to fill out an NCAA Tourney bracket that I know nothing about.  I wish it was about luck.  In the past, I have filled out my brackets in the following ways: studied the teams and records, picked based on which mascot would win in a fight, picked by throwing darts at the bracket and tried the "girl in the office" way of picking based on where I would want to live.  I have never finished above the lower middle of the pack.  So this year, I’m using a method much to complicated to go into in this space, but it does include determining which team has the most awesome/bad/unusual names.

Anyway, here are a few picks for you based on the above highly scientific formula (oh, and do not use this for betting purposes, in case you missed it above, I suck at predictions):

Upset Lock of Thursday Round:

Old Dominion (11) over N.D. (6)

O.D. –   
Marsharee Neely – His teammate Anton calls him a ball hog, saying its always about Marsharee, Marsharee, Marsharee! 
Marquel De Lancey – This name sounds like it should be a French royal.

N.D. – Mike “the Hammer” Broghammer – Seriously, when your worst name on the team is this, you are in bad shape; shame on you Irish. 

Toss Up Prediction:  Texas (8) over Wake Forest (9)

Wake Forest -   
Ishmael Smith – Ishmael says the NCAA Trophy is his “white whale.”

Phaethon Bolton – His dad, Helios Bolton, played for the Suns.

Texas -             
J’Covan Brown – I J’got nothing.

Varez Ward – Varez is a nickname, his real name is Kyievarez.

Dogus Balbay (from Turkey) – I know I said I wouldn’t regularly do foreign names, but come on: Dogus? Balbay?  Together?  Actually a turkey sandwich isn’t complete without a little dogus balbay.  

Probably not advancing:

UTEP – Julyan Stone – Is this like Juliann or July-an?

            Yaw Mensa – Yaw sure, he’s from Sveden. I’m kidding, he’s from Houston.

No Chance to Advance:

Picasso Simmons (Murray St) – It’s a shame too, because Picasso really plays well in the paint. 

Asown Sayles (Ohio) – Well, sown means to spread with seed, do you think the parents were that deep with the meaning?  I’m guessing not. 

Zahir Carrington (Lehigh) – Zahir is obsessed with playing basketball.

You Pick It: Best Overall BNOW Team (with no chance to advance):

Sam Houston State:

Marco “Polo” Cooper – This guy is a marvelous swimmer.

Josten Crow – I am pretty sure that Heckle and Jeckle were josten crows.

Drae Murray - Nada

Or:

East TN State:

Jarvis Jones – This guy really should be playing for Butler (HI-OOHHH!!)

De’Shaud Johnson

Jocolby Davis – One of the best law firms in the Johnson City area.

Finally, I had one toss up that I could not fix with any of my past prognosticating tricks:

St. Mary’s (10) vs. Richmond (7) – No help there, not much different between a 7 seed and a 10 seed.  Record?  Basically the same. Conference? Both equally crappy.  Bad names?  St. Mary’s worst are Omar and Beau; Richmond’s is Darrius.  No help there.  Mascots? Gaels v. Spiders – What the heck?  Gaels are an ethno-linguistic group which originated in Ireland. That may be the worst mascot ever.  I guess an Irishman could step on a spider, so St. Mary’s in an upset???

More to come tomorrow.